If You Don't Wanna Love Me
by FireGirl09
Summary: Grissom finds Sara singing a song. Sara reveals more of her childhood and how she ran away when she was 13. Happy ending I promise!


Hey people, my second fic here. I know it's short but I wanted to listen to this song and I just started typing. It took me around an hour and it's late so if I misspelled anything please let me know because one of my fingers is taped up and I keep hitting the wrong keys. Okay, I'm off to bed, please read and review! Later.

"If you don't wanna love me" is by Cowboy Troy

Grissom was walking through the nearly empty hallways of the CSI building. It was Valentines day night and it wasn't busy at all, only one case. I guess people do have some compassion in them, yeah right, Grissom thought to himself.

He turned the corner, planning on heading to his office when he heard someone singing accompanied by a guitar.

If you don't wanna love me  
Then I'll find somebody else who will  
Find another kind of thrill  
Find another way to fill this loneliness

It was coming from the garage, he slowely headed that way. It was dark but there was just enough light for Grissom to make out Sara's outline sitting on the floor against the back wall. She was playing a guitar singing:

A married couple with kids and a family pet  
He takes for granted that it's all good, and things are set  
But she feels no passion in the romance  
It's been a year since they had their last slow dance  
Even worse her husband treats her like an ornament  
Every other week the kids have a tournament  
A team meeting or somewhere they gotta be  
But her heart's screamin', "Hey what about me?"

Grissom took in the words to the song she was singing so beautifully, he also noticed the emotion in her voice. She was singing with such compassion that it gave Grissom chill bumps. he thought back on why she would chose this song to sing. 'She just likes it.' he told himself. 'Don't take it as anything else, it doesn't mean anything.' but he doesn't believe himself.

Unbeknownst, another hound is in the chicken coop  
And he's makin' moves like a player to the hoop  
She met him at the gym or was it at the grocery?  
It doesn't matter 'cause you know where it's goin' B  
'Cause last year, her mister got caught cheatin'  
So she figures this is gonna make 'em even  
He thought she'd wait like all the times before  
Until he found the note she left for him hanging on the door  
It read...  
If you don't wanna love me  
Then I'll find somebody else who will (I'll find somebody else who will)  
Find another kind of thrill  
Find another way to fill this loneliness

Grissom suddenly knew why Sara was singing her heart and soul into this song, it was meant for him. He knew that she always had some form of feelings for him, but he had hoped that they would never have to face these things. His thoughts were disturbed by the next line that Sara sang with extra compassion:

She's sixteen, callin' home to her mama  
Afraid to talk 'cause she scared of all the noise and drama She's been gone for a week and a half  
All she wants is something to eat and a nap  
Cause she's a runaway (runaway, runaway)  
Sleepin' under bridges and sleepin' in alleyways  
Afraid to go the shelter so at night she prays  
That hopefully she's gonna see some better days  
Meanwhile Mom and Dad are really frantic  
when they saw her clothes were gone  
you know they really panicked  
thoughts in their mind, "Did she run to the border?"  
Or even worse "Will she be a case on Law and Order?"  
The silence in her room screams of not feelin' wanted  
Of not being good enough it almost seems haunted  
All her pain soon will be known

He could hear her sobs in between words as tears excaped her eyes. Had she been a runaway? She would have been in foster care at 16, but could she have run before her mother killed her father?

When she leaves her Mom and Dad a message after the tone and says...  
If you don't wanna love me  
Then I'll find somebody else who will (I'll find somebody else who will)  
Find another kind of thrill  
Find another way to fill this loneliness

If you really wanna know me  
I guess you better show me  
Is it real or is it phony?  
Just love me or leave me alone

If you don't wanna love me  
Then I'll find somebody else who will (I'll find somebody else who will)  
Find another kind of thrill  
Find another way to fill this loneliness

She set her guitar down beside her and pulled her knees to her chest. She had had such a hard life. Grissom wanted to walk over and wrap her in his arms, but would she care? He knew that a least part of that song was for him, but it was also for her parents who had mistreated her.

"Screw it," he said. He walked to her, she didn't even notice him until he sat down beside her. She looked up into his blue eyes with suprise, tears streaming down her face. "Come here," he whispered softly. He held her until she stopped crying.

"Talk to me," he cooed to her.

"About what?" she asked.

"About the song, about why you were crying, about why you didn't come to me if you feel so un-loved."

She looked down at the floor. "I couldn't come to you and put my heart out on the line again for you to just crush."

"I'm so sorry Sara. I'm not just your boss, I'm also your friend, I think I forgot about that."

"It's my fault, I didn't do anything to try to talk to you."

"It's not your fault." They were silent for a while. "what about the part about the runaway?"

She took a deep breath before she spoke, "I ran away when I was 13, I ran to San Francisco. I couldn't take the beatings every night or the screams and cursing when they thought I was asleep. I was always afraid to sleep when I was a kid, he would drag me out of my bed if I wasn't awake, sometimes he would just start hitting me when I was asleep. I ran to get away from him, not because I was scared, but because I knew deep down that I deserved better."

"You do Sara, you deserve so much more, so much more than I can ever offer you."

"But you can offer me just what I want. I want you, you make me happy, every time I pass you in the hallway my heart skips a beat."

"You need someone your own age. I'm old Sara, I'm not young anymore. Greg likes you, he could give you what you need and deserve."

"I love Greg, but not the way you want me to, I love you Grissom."

He looked into her eyes, she was serious. "i love you too Sara."

"Then why can't we be together?"

"I don't know."

"When I was on the run from my parents I learned not to sleep in the dark, I was almost rapped one night. I learned that the daytime is the best time to sleep because there are other people to look out for you then. I was gone for 3 weeks before the cops finially chased me down, I tried to run but they cought me. They took me back to my parents even though I said that I didn't want to go. I told them that my dad hit me, but they didn't believe me.

My first night back, I layed in my bed with a wooden baseball bat. My dad came in around midnight, he grabbed me and tried to hit me, but I swung the bat and cracked him right in the ribs. He still managed to beat the crap out of me though, but at least I got a shot in." She looked back up at Grissom.

He just shook his head. "I understand now why you couldn't come to me. You were afraid that if you told me how you felt again that it would ruin the friendship that we have."

"Exactly, and I can't lose you. You're the only one here that is at least partially sane."

He laughed. "That's what i love so much about you sidle, you can always make me laugh."

"Let's give it a shot then, we'll just start it off slow. Dinner, brunch, I don't care."

"If I agree to this, will you do something for me?"

"I'll do anything for you," she told him.

"Will you promise to sing to me? You sing so beautifully."

"Only if you promise to cook breakfast after shift."

"Deal."

So what do you think? Like it, love it, hate it, just wanna bite my head off because I wrote it and you think it is junk(I hope not!)? PLease let me know! Just clink the little review button and take a few seconds to write me something. Thanks for reading!


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